Life is stressful and people can be mean. You work all day and get yelled at by your boss. Your kids refuse to follow any rules. Your car won’t even start for you. In life’s tough times, it is normal and expected to need support to take some of the burden off you. And this is where your partner comes in.
The beauty of a relationship is that you are always there to support each other when times get difficult. Talking things out with your partner, receiving an extra-long hug, or just relaxing together can relieve the stress of everyday life and give you a greater sense of wellbeing. However, many of us are taught to “suck it up” and be strong, so asking for support does not come naturally to us. So, it is important to be aware of our own stress signals and those of our partner.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- How do I act when I am stressed?
- How does my partner know when I am starting to get stressed?
- When stress is at its worst, what am I like?
- How do I act when I am worried?
- How do I act when I am trying to figure out a solution to a problem?
- How do I act when I am frustrated?
Once you have answered these questions about yourself, consider how your partner can assist you when you are feeling overwhelmed. Also think about how you can be of assistance to your partner. Communicate with him or her regarding this topic and together develop effective ways of coping in times of stress.
Although your partner will always support you in your times of need, he or she may not always be physically present to help you when you need it. For this reason, it is also important to consider other ways of coping with stressful situations on your own. Having this to fall back on also takes all the pressure to support you off your partner, making it less of a duty and more of a privilege.
So, how do you cope with stress without the help of your partner?
Consider some of the following:
- Call a friend or family member
- Practice a hobby
- Do deep breathing exercises
- Limit your caffeine and sugar intake
- Take a nap
Investigate what methods work for you and encourage your partner to do the same. When you have coping skills readily available to you when times get tough, whether they be the support of your loved one or your own personalized tools, you will be able to feel more in control of your life and to take more time to appreciate and invest in time with your partner.
(Source: The Truth About Love by Pat Love, Ed.D)
For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2831.