Even as the culture continues to change around us, as divorce rates soar and unmarried couples choose to live together rather than marry, many – perhaps most – of us cherish the notion of having a lasting relationship. The scientific evidence favors coupledom: we live longer, healthier lives, are happier and less inclined to abuse drugs or alcohol.
We begin relationships like we begin diets: with optimism, enthusiasm and conviction that this will be “the one” that works. In the early days, we open ourselves to new emotions, nurture trust, feel valued at last. We feel attraction and attractive, intimate and fulfilled, committed and joyful.
But eventually, the “honeymoon” phase wanes, the bills and laundry pile up, the stresses of work and family descend and the relationship – like the diet – becomes less of a miracle and more of an ordinary process.
So how do we make that transition, allowing “real life” to happen while preserving and even enhancing the richness of the relationship?
Our Unique ApproachFor the past 33 years, Dr. Fibus’ clients have been learning to take charge (control) of their emotions, relationships and lives. Known for his versatile, creative and customized approaches, Dr. Fibus catches clients doing things right and directs them to Soar With Their Strengths. Nationally recognized as a seasoned relationship expert, Dr. Fibus creates a challenging opportunity for couples to evolve themselves into the top 5% of happy, healthy and successful partnerships and marriages. Free 10 Minute Consultation
Couples who have been happy together for decades have a number of things in common.
They laugh together. Humor is powerful glue. Not only is laughing physically healthy, but it is also emotionally cleansing. Things we laugh about together can inspire smiles and pleasure for years – and help to soften the edges of difficult times. Seek out the experiences that you both enjoy, whether it’s watching movies, going fishing, flying kites or walking the dog. Make time to play together, often.
They respect each other. Lasting relationships are built on a foundation of trust. To establish trust, we must each believe that our partner will continue to care about us in bad times as well as good. That they will love us even when we’re ill or upset. That they will value who we are even when we make mistakes. To build that trust, we must show respect for our partner under all circumstances. That means avoiding name-calling, blaming, criticism, mockery and insults, even when we’re angry or frustrated. Rather than taking our partner for granted, we must express appreciation and affection – not just when the relationship is new, but for all the years to come.
They are individuals within their relationship. When we embark on a relationship, we savor that feeling of melting together, joining. We talk about “being one” with our partner. But while individuals in successful couples can enjoy their togetherness, they each have boundaries and unique identities. They are not threatened by the time they spend apart and don’t rely on their partner to fill all their needs. They have activities, interests and friends of their own and they actively work to resolve their own issues rather than trying to “fix” their partner. Within the context of the relationship, they can compromise, share and help each other become stronger individuals. As they do so, they build the strength and endurance of their relationship.
They share. If we want a lasting relationship, we must be willing to communicate. Good partners are curious about each other. They talk together about wide-ranging topics. They listen to each other, ask questions and trust each other with difficult subjects. They don’t always agree, but they know that disagreeing does not threaten their relationship.
They explore. The more we explore and grow, as individuals and as a couple, the more likely it is that our relationship will last. We can explore on our own – talking, traveling, sharing with friends, taking classes, reading – and we can explore with individual and relationship counselors. The better we are at being partners, the better our relationship, and the more likely that it will last.
For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2831.
Why Clients Have Found Success With Us
We understand the tenets of anger. We know that anger that is poorly managed can be counterproductive and unhealthy.
When anger is misdirected or overly aggressive, it can lead to poor decision making processes and affect your work, close relationships, and your overall mental, physical, and spiritual health.
We help you take on varying perspectives to your unique problems in an effort to open your mind to the possibility of change, whereby you make subtle, but significant changes to a healthier, better adjusted you.
"I’ve been to a number of good therapists in my lifetime. Dr. Fibus’ approach is different than all of the others and I have gotten my best results with him."
"Dr. Fibus got us through a hard and unpleasant segment of our marriage. Despite the unpleasant aspects of the affair, we’ve learned how to address the issue and our marriage is now much stronger and healthier than before the incident."
"Dr. Fibus, your patience and compassion kept us in our chairs, but your skill and understanding of relationships guided us toward renewed commitment that will last a long time. We are deeply grateful for your help."
How Do We Move Forward?
Seeking the support of a therapist (relationship expert) can sometimes seem difficult, if not overwhelming. From the minute you call Dr. Fibus’ office to the moment you walk through our office door, you will find comfort in a capable and understanding doctor whose flexibility and knowledge can help you meet your relationship goals.
Dr. Fibus and his team create an environment where comfort and privacy are at the forefront, and focus on care to facilitate growth for the couple and for the individuals who desire growth within their relationship.
Much to Gain!
Whether your troubles consist of trust, resentment, or anger management issues that seem to plague the relationship, or it involves a breakdown in communication, intimacy, or compatibility, Dr. Fibus and his team of relationship, couples, and marriage counselors can help you reframe your perceived weaknesses as potential strengths from which to move forward in the direction of your goals. Sincerity, compassion, and understanding are not what set us apart.
Any effective individual or marriage therapist will provide that. It is with honest reflection, innovation, flexibility, and knowledge of systems and how the mind, body, and spirit interact that give us proven results in couples counseling.
Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
You’re Almost There… Just Call or Email…
Give your relationship the chance it deserves…with real therapy that has been proven to be effective and with someone with over thirty years of recognized experience. Better communication, increased clarity, empowerment in defining where your happiness lies, and learning how to be better to yourself and to the one you love are just the tip of the iceberg of the things you can do with proven, effective marriage and couples counseling. Call today