When Was the Last Time We Talked?
As partners in a relationship, we typically “talk without talking.” We exchange bits of information in passing – news about the kids, about upcoming appointments and events or requests of our partner to do something. We might even have brief exchanges about what happened during the day, but we rarely talk about subjects that are emotionally significant unless we are in the middle of a heated dispute.
“Talk time” is essential to the repair and maintenance of a healthy relationship. We should mark a time on the calendar, at least once a week, when we can talk with each other about our personal concerns. This is a safe, private time, when we won’t be disturbed or overheard, when we won’t be distracted by phones or television and when we won’t be tempted to run off to another commitment.
During our talk time, we will listen to each other, we will say what we feel and ask for what we want and we will speak honestly but not hurtfully. We will take turns talking.
These may sound like simple-enough instructions. But if your relationship is damaged, you may need help developing the skills and vocabulary to talk with one another. A relationship counselor can help your find the way into better communication and a richer partnership.
For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2832.
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