• FAQs
• Articles
• Videos
• Self Test

Resources > Articles

What's Sex Got To Do With It?

Young or old, first love or later love, we are easily caught up in the expectations surrounding commitment, monogamy and sex. Should we or shouldn't we? Will we or won't we? How closely are those three words – commitment, monogamy, sex – connected in our mind and in our behavior?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there's some evidence that young people in their teens and twenties are putting a greater value on virginity and waiting longer before they have sex. We don't know all the reasons that inform their decisions. Some wait because of faith or culture; some wait because of the social mores of their community; some acknowledge higher priorities, such as education; some are afraid –of pregnancy, of disease, of repeating their parents' mistakes. Sociologists are busy studying the results of these decisions: will these people make better marriage partners and better marriages? Will they be more stable emotionally?

Relationships are complicated. They are more than chemistry. Whatever our age, we need to know and understand our partner and our self. We need to be able to manage change, stress and both the expectations and the unexpected realities of daily life. Without the intense distraction of chemistry, waiting may give the unmarried a better chance of achieving some of these goals as individuals and as a couple.

Even older couples, contemplating a second or third marriage, may benefit from "taking it slow." A little impulse control may give them the opportunity to evaluate the new relationship, to see whether they're about to embark on the same patterns and problems they experienced in an earlier partnership.

Wherever we are in our relationship lives, sex brings along its own set of questions, complications and possibilities. Deciding when is just one question. A compassionate counselor can help us find the language to talk about difficult or embarrassing concerns, can help us make the right decisions at the right time and can help us make the most of our relationship for the present and the future.

For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2832.

« BACK TO ARTICLES