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Relationships: Signs of Anger


Just as a fever is a sign of an underlying illness in our body, anger is a “red flag” that signals a problem in a relationship. Like a fever, anger doesn’t tell us exactly what the problem is, just that there is something that needs urgent attention.

That’s not to suggest that anger is always bad or that it should be suppressed or avoided; our anger may be justified. But when anger becomes a habit in a relationship, it can lead to even greater problems.

Anger means pay attention. Learn to identify the problem. Learn to talk about it. Learn to handle it together.

We may respond with anger when nothing else seems to work: when we’re extremely frustrated or we cannot find the words to express our feelings. We may explode in a verbal tirade or shut down into tormented silence. In the worst case, anger may turn physical.

Anger can wear a number of masks, especially if we have been taught that anger is bad. Here are a few signs of anger that might arise in a relationship, indicating the need for careful attention, such as counseling:

Anger is a normal human emotion, but anger unrecognized, unexpressed or poorly managed can have painful repercussions. Relationship counseling can help us to recognize anger and develop the language and habits to cope with it before it damages our partnership.

For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2831.

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