Articles
I’m Not Angry, Damn It!
One of the many challenges faced by angry people is the difficulty of seeing our own anger. “What are you mad about?” our loved one says. “What are you ticked off about now?” “Why are you so angry?” But these probing questions only serve to make us more irritated.
After all, we’re not angry – we’re reacting with complete justification to someone else’s stupidity, foolishness or even anger. We believe it’s our job to show strength, to show other people what’s right, to be the one person who will stand up to the fools of the world.
It’s our responsibility to act like an adult, even if that means we have to raise our voice – or our hand.
If we could walk around wearing a blood pressure cuff or heart monitor, or see our clenched jaw, red face or twitching hand, maybe we’d be more aware of our anger. But typically, we only get hints when someone else calls our attention to our behavior, or when we’ve emotionally or physically hurt someone we love.
Anger is a valid and important emotion. But unrecognized, uncontrolled anger is a destructive force. It damages relationships, careers and health. Unfortunately, it’s also contagious, and the people most likely to show symptoms are the ones we most want to protect: our children.
To manage our anger we must first learn to recognize it and understand what triggers it. With the patient and compassionate help of an anger specialist, we can learn to express our anger productively, in a way that won’t hurt us or those we love.
For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2832.
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