Articles
Anger is Sticky
The wounds that we carry from earliest childhood can stay with us throughout our lives. They become scars, and like the physical marks of other scars, we might wear them proudly or cringe with self-conscious humiliation.
When we are angry, we tend to blame others – our parents, siblings, teachers, ‘enemies’ and other authority figures – for our wounds. We want pay-back. We want someone to admit their responsibility, apologize for the damage we’ve endured and give us back all that we have lost. Unfortunately, that seldom happens. Sometimes the person who has hurt us is long gone from our lives. Sometimes they may be unaware of our feelings and may, in fact, blame us for their own difficulties.
Even if we get the long-sought apology, we’re still likely to feel frustrated and angry for all the time we’ve lost and all the pain we’ve felt.
We want life to be fair. We struggle to get what we feel we deserve. Sometimes it feels like we’re the only one who’s making an effort- the only one who cares. If we’re lucky, we have partners and family members who will work alongside us to heal past wounds. But few of us are that lucky. We need to figure out a way to move forward in our lives, to work toward forgiveness, whether or not that seems fair, and to let others lead their own lives.
No matter how deeply we have been wounded, no matter how “ugly” our scars, we can make life better for ourselves, with the skilled and compassionate help of a trusted counselor. We can learn to release the sticky grip of anger and to find within ourselves the natural resources to shed destructive habits, build loving relationships and forgive those who have injured us.
If you are ready to release anger and emerge from loneliness, call Dr. Fibus for a free phone consult at 818.395.2832.
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