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Relationship Guidelines

Your marital relationship is like no other in your life. You rely on your partner for support, love, and physical satisfaction. Because all of these aspects of your marriage are inextricably bound, it is important to nurture each component in order to create a satisfying and secure relationship overall. Consider the guidelines below as tools for creating a better marriage.

1. The more intimate your relationship, the better the sex.
Sex in marriage can be incredibly satisfying due to a factor, which is absent in casual sex. Marital sex has deep connection and intimacy. By improving intimacy overall through sharing experiences together and engaging in hugging and kissing, you can drastically improve your sex life.

2. The better the communication, the better your sex life.
Your partner is not a mind reader. Communicate what it is you find satisfying during intercourse with openness and respect. Likewise, listen to requests your partner makes without taking offense to the need for improvement.

3. Setting aside couple time is essential in keeping your relationship satisfying.
Life gets busy with children, careers, and other obligations. However, in order for your marriage to remain a happy one, it is important to make it a priority. Set aside time to be a married couple and focus on each other.

4. Affection should occur regularly.
Kissing, caressing, and holding should not be reserved for the bedroom. Be sure you and your partner show each other physical affection on a regular basis, even if this merely means holding hands while eating breakfast.

5. Be spontaneous and playful during sexual interactions.
Collaborate with your spouse to build a more exciting sex life. Initiate it without planning and experiment with different ways to find pleasure with each other.

6. Maintain an attitude of sexual experimentation and openness.
Since sex can sometimes be seen as “shameful” in some cultures and families, some couples might be hesitant to thoroughly explore the avenues of sexuality. Use experimentation as a way to open yourselves up to new experiences as a couple.

7. Learn to laugh off unsatisfying sexual experiences.
Sex will not always be amazing. Many different factors account for sexual dissatisfaction, including stress, hormones, environmental triggers, and outside thoughts. Because it is bound to happen, embrace it as a learning experience to bring to your next sexual experience together.

8. Both men and women can enjoy foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay.
Everyone is unique in how they respond to different sensations and experiences. Work together to discover what works for each of you sensually and use it to grow as a sexual couple.

9. Understand and accept changes that come with the maturing of a relationship and the aging process.
You and your spouse change over time as a couple just as you change individually. Embrace change and undergo the process of maturation as a married couple, looking to each other for support and understanding.

10. Maintain an attitude of caring and commitment.
No matter what you may experience as a couple, be aware of how you are treating each other. At the foundation of your relationship, you should both care for each other in a loving and committed way.

(Source: Couple Sexual Awareness by Barry and Emily McCarthy)

For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2831.

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