Good Relationships Don’t Happen Overnight
When we hear about someone who’s accomplished something impressive – climbing a mountain or publishing a book or learning a foreign language – we may think the person has some advantage that makes their accomplishment “easy” for them. The reality is that the mountain climber puts one foot in front of the other like the rest of us, the writer has probably crossed out more words than he or she has kept and the language learner has stumbled through hours and hours of mistakes and embarrassment before becoming fluent.
By the same token, we look at two people in a good relationship – if we’re fortunate enough to know such people – and we think they must be lucky, they must not have any problems. But good relationships don’t happen overnight. They require deep commitment, a willingness to forgive (both our partners and ourselves), a sense of humor and years of practice.
When we’re looking for a better relationship with our partner, we have to be willing to step up and make that commitment of time, energy and practice. We have to know that, like the mountain climber, we will get stronger and have fewer falls as we move forward. That, like the writer, we – both of us in the relationship – will say and do things that are awkward and in need of editing. That, like the language learner, if we find a great teacher, listen carefully and practice, practice, practice, we will eventually be able to understand each other.
The commitments we make to our relationship will also benefit us as individuals. They will enrich our friendships and bring new meaning to our work and our time. Our growing ability to communicate, listen, be patient and ask for help will strengthen us to meet the challenges of our daily lives.
If you and your spouse or partner are ready to make a commitment to change – a commitment to each other – begin by talking with a skilled, empathic relationship counselor.
For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus, relationship therapist in Los Angeles at 818.395.2832.
Posted in: Relationship Counseling
Recent Posts:
for your initial free
10 minute phone
consultation!
818.395.2832
this form today!