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Fighting Fair


Most of the time, we think that we are the rational individuals in our marriage. When we engage in an argument, our partner is the one who is being unreasonable. However, fights within relationships are always two-sided, and both parties need to take on some level of responsibility. So, thinking on that vain, do you fight fair?

Fair fights do not mean that you both get equal opportunities to yell, point out each other’s faults, and scream, “I’m right!” Fighting fairly means to acknowledge the fact that you are, in fact, arguing but to stay true to the respect and love that acts as the foundation of your relationship. To create a controlled, neutral environment for fair fighting, follow the steps below and watch how much more effective and respectful your arguments become.

You may not use all of these steps in a fair fight with your spouse. Consider this as a guide to the principles and mindset you and your partner should adopt when engaging in disagreements. The calculated and formal nature of the steps may seem awkward and unauthentic, but they actually work as a neutralizing agent to make both you and your partner less emotionally charged and more open to positive change for your ever-growing relationship.

(Source: Passage to Intimacy by Lori H. Gordon, Ph.D)

For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2831.

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